As we usher in the new Lunar year and the advent of spring, may this symbolize new amazing ideas and ventures springing out from your wonderful minds. What the mind can visualize, you know that you can realize.
Gong Xi Fa Cai from all of us at Surya Women!
Shine on!
Sexual harassment at the workplace is a painful subject to write about.
What many young professionals forget is that when in the course of your work, that if you feel uncomfortable or unjustly treated by a senior colleague or your employer, you do have a right to speak out. Remaining silent is counter-productive when by a person’s words or conduct, he or she directly affects you mentally and psychologically to the point that the quality of your work suffers.
The problem is that many of us, scared, a little insecure, young professionals refuses to speak up.
In one case I handled, the Client works in a government sector, and was supervised by a superior as government departments tend to have. As a fresh junior, her work involves being well groomed and she was always well dressed and made up for work like a proper Muslimah. The problem began when a new supervisor, who happened to be Dato’ took over from her previous one.
He was a single man in his 40’s. He would make unnecessary and unrelated to work sexual comments on her clothes, her physical attributes, make obscene gestures towards her and would attempt to touch her in inappropriate manner.
She was not alone in the victimization, as her other female colleagues also received the same treatment. As a result of that behaviour, the morale was low in her department. The ladies in her department even began dressing slovenly as an attempt to make the abuser lose interest. When the Dato’s advances were not entertained, his attitude became sour and found fault in their work, even though other superiors approved of their work.
I advised her to make an official and collective internal complaint, which she did, and she was called by the Head of the government division itself to address the problem. The supervisor was also called in to explain. However in the end, it wasn’t the abuser who was transferred, but it was the victim who was transferred to her hometown, as part of an agreement to keep silent over the matter.
Another Client has a similar situation where she, a properly dressed Muslimah, gets inappropriate “Jom dating!” (Let’s go out on a date) invites to lunches, dinners outside of her scope of work by her employer who was apparently interested in her as a potential wife than a valued employee.
She consistently turned them down. Eventually, the friendly invites turns aggressive to the point that she decided she could not put up with that kind of behaviour. She resigned and moved to a different Company. Unlike the first Client, she could do nothing as the problem was the employer.
How do you speak up against your employer, or a senior who has proved him/herself to be valuable to the Company/organization without negatively impacting your career?
The law provides some relief. Part XVA, S. 81A-81G of the Employment Act 1955 provides procedures for employees who decide to make a complaint regarding sexual harassment. Non-compliance of these procedures can attract a fine not exceeding RM10,000.00 as per S.81F.
An employer is compelled by law under S.81B to make an inquiry should a complaint be lodged against certain persons under his employment. An employer is also permitted to refuse to inquire the complaint, if there is no evidence of sexual harassment, and that he or she finds that it is frivolous, vexatious and not made in good faith under S.81B(3).
If the employee is not satisfied that the employer refuses to inquire into the complaint, he or she may invoke S.81B(4) and apply directly to the Director General of Labour, and the DGL in turn may compel the employer to conduct the inquiry within 30 days (s. 81D(2))or inform the complainant if he agrees with the employer within 30 days (s. 81D(6)).
If the sexual harassment is proven, under S.81C the employer is allowed to dismiss the employee without notice, downgrade the employee, or impose any punishment. The scope is wide here under the third limb.
There is also a Code Of Practice On The Prevention And Eradication Of Sexual Harassment In The Workplace issued by the Ministry of Human Resources which serves as a guideline, tho it is not legally binding. It is a good guide for employers to identify what sexual harassment is and how to curb it in the workplace.
On a more practical side, how does one differentiate between an actual harassment with the usual joking around in the workplace?
In many friendly workplaces, office pranks and off-colour jokes are the norm. Sometimes, certain groups of people (especially men) would share comedic pornographic material amongst themselves. Some would like to include their female colleagues as part including them in the group of friends, and did not realize that it is actually unwanted sexual harassment.
In my personal opinion, ‘rape language’ type jokes, “Rape your anus until it bleeds”, “Just rip your clothes off and spread your legs like the slut you are”, “If you get raped, just enjoy it bitch” for example should be outright banned. It is never funny in any context to express oneself. It is highly offensive, and is insensitive.
The context of the communication should also be taken into consideration. It is perfectly acceptable if sexual innuendos or humorous non-rape jokes are shared in a public sphere and is considered as non-offensive by the general group of friendly colleagues. Only a very eccentric fool would take “Do you like being tied up, and being whipped?” seriously, and it’s considered as threat of physical assault than sexual harassment.
The not-cool factor kicks in when the communication is on a private sphere. If text messages/email/phone call asking for sex is sent back and forth only between the two handphones, then it is definitely sexual harassment.
Ladies (and perhaps gentlemen), you set the standard of how you want to be treated. If someone in your workplace is doing things you’re not comfortable with, speak up. Say I’m not okay with this. Ask the person to stop. Speak to your colleagues or your employer if the person persists with his/her behaviour. Avoid them and exclude them from all forms of interaction unless necessary. If you find yourself in similar situation, you do have a choice and avenues to solve it.
– this article was contributed by Miss Azira Aziz self described as an eternally curious kitty who thinks that those laser beams are nefarious villains.
Time flies and in a blink of an eye, a year has gone by. We are now in the last month of 2014 and things are actually picking up speed for most of us.
During this month, it would do us good to reflect on the past year, celebrate our successes and learn from our past. For us at Surya Women, we have much to be thankful for.
Our founders have been busying ourselves with many different causes including Lean In group for women, speaking at conferences covering all sorts of topics like Leadership, Women in Corporations, Activism and Gerrymandering, Writing, and so forth. We have made appearances on TV and radio and participated in Women’s events all through the year. We have been actively populating our Facebook page, our blog (where some of our articles amazed us with the number of readership- thank you to our faithful readers!) and on twitter. Most of these are done either as ourselves or under the banner of Surya Women.
Either way, our message to the world has been united. We care about women, we care about ourselves and we want a better future for the next generation of women.
To borrow a term from Lean In, us women have been leaning in for most of the year, leading us to wondrous experiences, many of which we would not have chosen to do ordinarily. Being in Surya Women has given us ample opportunities to serve and to bless our community at large in small and big ways. By leaning in and taking up the challenge, we have been blessed ourselves with personal growth and experiences.
Like most women, especially us who juggle with family and career, we tend to get into the cycle of busy-ness and do, do, do, go, go, go, forgetting that we sometimes need to let go and take a breather in order to bring balance into our lives.
Now, it is time to Lean Out and reflect on not only what we have achieved but also how we have grown as women who shine. I believe that we have much to feel thankful for, not least the friendships and immense support that we have gained from like minded women both inside and outside of Surya Women.
We invite women (and men) everywhere to join us in this time of purposeful winding down and Leaning Out in order to learn the lessons that life has offered us. May we find our joy and meaning and say a thankful prayer to the Almighty for having given us this amazing year. May we look forward to an even better year where we live out our purpose and SHINE.
Life gets better!
During our latest Surya Women Event- Lean in Chats, we invited several women to come and have a group discussion about issues they faced at work.
One of the issues we raised was success and likability at work- can we be both successful and likable?
A dilemma that women face (one that men do not) is that we are expected to be “nice” and “likable”, but this may stand in the way of succeeding at work. Point in case, if you are nice, how do you require your staff to step up in their performance without jeopardizing your reputation? A male boss would be seen as being firm but a lady boss could be seen as being a bitch.
If you worry about being likable, then it can be harder to reprimand your staff for taking advantage (convenient MCs, slacking off at work, taking overly long lunch breaks, coffee breaks, not meeting deadlines).
Women have found from time to time that they are being valued more for their personality (likability) rather than achievements. In turn this makes it harder for them to get the promotions they deserve (for their achievements) whether, they let their “niceness” stop them from achieving better results, or they are seen as weak and unable to command/ lead their team, or they are able to achieve results BUT graded down for their “brashness/ directness/ pushy ways”. Men do not face the same dilemma.
Here is an excerpt from HBR on women, success and likability:
“What is really going on, as peer reviewed studies continually find, is that high-achieving women experience social backlash because their very success – and specifically the behaviors that created that success – violates our expectations about how women are supposed to behave. Women are expected to be nice, warm, friendly, and nurturing. Thus, if a woman acts assertively or competitively, if she pushes her team to perform, if she exhibits decisive and forceful leadership, she is deviating from the social script that dictates how she “should” behave. By violating beliefs about what women are like, successful women elicit pushback from others for being insufficiently feminine and too masculine.”
And here’s what some of the women at the event said:
“I think you can have both! Be successful and liked. It’s how you manage perceptions.”
“When women bosses correct a staff, they are called a dragon boss or a bitch. This made me think I needed to tone down and the results- subordinates step over me/ take advantage”
“Do your job at the utmost best. Screw what people think”
“OMG, I used to. Now I coach others not to please others”
“Sometimes if you do too well, people will tend to be offended/like you less. It’s a cycle”
“I assume that each organisation shuld have or aspire to a culture of professionalism and respect. For me its not so much likability or gender, but it is respect and professionalism across the board.”
“I believe that women are their own worst enemies and have not had good experiences with women leaders who are too emotional, unprofessional and ignorant. I hope to meet a better caliber of leaders in the future”
“In all my circles, I am known for being nice. People say its the most endearing quality I possess. I am afraid of being perceived otherwise”
“Trying to throw this “I-am-a-candle” syndrome! It’s tiring and stressful!! I am the person that should be pleased, not you or YOU”
“I stopped pleasing others as it does not benefit me”
“A woman client was taken aback at being held accountable by me- another woman. However, upon reflection, she realised the purpose and her role and started to be responsible”
“Focusing on constructive criticism and keeping a positive attitude helps you attain both”
“Is success determined by likability? Should social reputation determine professional success? Of course it hurts us but should we let it get to us?”
Does any of these statements resonate with you?
Do you agree with some of these statements? Why/ why not?
Help us continue the discussion here on our blog by leaving us a comment!
Here is an interesting interview on BFM of Anne Abraham of Lead Women, talking to Maya about Women in Leadership.
What is the landscape of female leadership in Malaysia (and Asia)?
Do women set themselves back in ways they’re not aware of?
Is the responsibility solely on the shoulders of women?
Click here to listen to her interview.
I personally think that we could do with much more support structure, in the home as well as in the corporate.
What do you think? Drop us your comments!
I’ll meet you in Greentown for a chat, and hey, by the way, my wife has some free vouchers for facial, would you like to get a free facial?
I was back in my hometown this weekend, and happened to contact an old colleague of mine who was in town too. My first reaction to a free anything, is that, there is no such thing as a free lunch! I didn’t want to get hassled to buy treatments or products worth gazillion times the free facial that I would get. I mean, this is a well worn typical marketing gimmick right?
The spa salon was very nicely furnished with comfortable colours and warm woods, the ladies were dressed in pretty sarongs and I noticed high tech machines used to check my skin. I found the place new and very clean and comfortable. I felt so relaxed that I nearly fell asleep during the treatment.
During the facial, I had already decided that I would buy ONE, just one product, probably a foaming cleanser, just because, that was something that I don’t have in my stockpile of skincare. During the post facial consultation, I indicated that I was interested in getting a cleanser and nothing else. This is when I learnt about business and branding and came away highly impressed not only with the salon product and service, but with their business model.
The lovely lady owner of the salon flat out, politely refused to sell me a product. First, she made it clear to me that she was not interested to sell me a product, or even a service. She was more interested to sell me a solution to my skin problems. Secondly, she preferred that I bought out of confidence in her product, rather than to please her or her partner. I was impressed that this spunky lady was willing to forgo a small sale to keep her brand reputation intact. Her reason was that if I were to only use one product, the cleanser, I would not be able to feel the effects that I wanted. I decided to call her bluff, and pull out a typical trick of asking for samples to bring home and try because the last time that I used new branded skincare, ii caused my breakouts. She apologized that she never gives out samples of their product as they allow the customers to try it in person and have confidence before they buy. Giving out samples would mean that she was not confident of her products and her customers would not be confident neither. I immediately thought of all the luxury brands that have a policy of giving customers samples as part of their cross selling strategy. Wow. What a different perspective!
Now, I was already very impressed as I have learnt and taught many, never to sell a product but always sell a solution, to stick to their brand standards and process, build relationship, forgo a sale in order to win a customer. But I have never seen it personified like this. I was learning many lessons that I could pass on to the next customer service class that I would conduct!
A quick mental wrap up of what I have learnt from this amazing lady that I need to apply in my business:
1. Your branding and reputation is much more important than a sale. You could make one sale or you could make a loyal advocate (client) for life.
2. Never sell someone a product OR a service, no matter how tempted you are or how easy it is (remember, I was ready to buy ONE product even before trying out their facial). Instead offer them results, or a solution to their issues/ problem/ pain.
3. You must be confident about your own product/ service/ brand, enough to turn away sales for the wrong reason (In my case it was reciprocation for a free facial).
4. Be stringent on your standards and process. Whether it is your partners and associates, your staff, your customers, don’t be afraid to lose them if they are not aligned to your brand’s standards and honour the process. You will actually make things easier in the long haul for your business.
5. In business, relationship should be your number one priority. Whether or not you make a sale, make the potential customer your friend. Build trust and rapport so the prospect does not close the door on you and your brand. Even if the prospect does not buy from you today, he or she can add value to your business and brand in other ways.
6. Rather than sell the product/ service until the cows start to fly, let the customer try the product/ service. When they have experienced it, then they will have more confidence in their experience with the service/ product than in your sweet words. Ditto with spending advertising money on giving the customers a real experience. As a trainer who advocates experiential learning, I had an A-HA moment. I never thought to allow the clients experiential learning as well as the participants. I’ve been toying around with preview classes and giving free seats to some HR personnel but haven’t gotten around to planning it. Now, I know that this is truly the best way to convince clients.
Thank you Gwendolyn Wong for your insightful lessons to me that was as precious as the lovely facial at your beautiful spa.
Originally posted in http://www.singlestepconsultancy.wordpress.com
Hello lovelies!
Here is the fifth installment of our Kickstarting Branding for entrepreneurs and small business owners, by Lee Jia Ping, our founding member of Surya Women.
This podcast is about putting all the pieces together so that branding is coherent and integrated and the marketing clear. In this episode we look at brand touch-points and execution. Exciting stuff!!
Click here to listen and drop us a comment if you have a question for Ping!
Happy Weekend! 🙂
Dear Ladies,
Here is the fourth installment of our founding member, Lee Jia Ping’s series of interviews on BFM.
If you are interested in structuring your strong brand both internally and externally , please have a listen here.
Happy Listening!
Hi there ladies, it’s the end of a very busy and challenging week and before we say TGIF and look forward to the weekend, I would like to post the 3rd installment of Lee Jia Ping’s interview on BFM about Kickstarting your Brand.
We are honored that Ping is one of Surya Women’s founders and actively helps women in their careers and business through her speciality- Branding.
Please join me to learn from her here.
As promised, here is the second podcast by Lee Jia Ping, our very own brand maestro! Just click on the link for a good interview and learn how to brand your business, ladies!
Surya Women 