8 Tips for The Year of The Goat

I am a member of the CEO organisation called Vistage (formerly TEC) and every month, my group of 14 CEOs come together in a room to share issues that may be troubling them vis a vis their business or their personal life. At Vistage, there is no separation between business and personal, each impacts the other, and as such, both are given due attention when it comes to the health of the CEO and their business. These 14 are guided by a coach or a chair who help the group get to the heart of the issue and each CEO in turn, offers their sagely opinion to their fellow CEO presenting his/her issue.

Some of the best lessons in business have been from shared learnings and pointers from my Coach and my fellow CEOs. So for the start of the Year of the Goat, I thought I would share some of my Top 8 tips with all you entrepreneurs, budding or otherwise.

1. You are better than you think you are.

When numerous people compliment you on your work, it’s time to accept the compliment, take it onboard and stop being so being so hard on yourself.

• e.g. of never giving yourself a break :- you are fantastic at selling but constantly ignore it and choose to beat yourself up because you are not good in negotiations like your colleague.

Celebrate your strengths and tackle one challenge at a time.

2. Check your ego.

The ego can be a source of arrogance or pride, judging others to be lesser, making you boastful. Or it can also have the total opposite affect; making you extremely unsure and extremely hard or judgmental about yourself.

Some samples would be:

• “How can that person be an expert when he/she can’t even speak well” (language or the fluency of it, is not a prerequisite for being a subject matter expert especially when English is not their first language)
• “There is no way I can charge that. That would be not right.” Meanwhile everyone in the market, who you have judged as wrong/bad, is charging ‘that’ price. And their business is expanding whilst you are still a solo artist having problems coping with the workload and paying the bills.
• “It’s terrible how they are such publicity seekers. I would never do something so uncool” Publicity seeking is another word for branding, marketing and advertising. It is a necessity to get ahead. If your competitors are doing it and getting ahead, congratulate them and take notes.

All of the above can be ways you are unconsciously sabotaging yourself.  We often call the above samples, “following our values” or “making a values-based judgement” but it is important to note, some of these are merely camouflages or excuses for wounded pride, fear, doubt or even fear of success. Until you see them for what they are, they often stand between you and success.

3. Beware of Self limiting assumptions

Look within. How you see yourself may not represent the reality. Are you really not good enough or have you judged yourself to be not good enough using some unattainable benchmark?

• Words like:
  • there is no way I can do that,
  • I have no degree, so how can I…
  • I am not as intelligent/attractive/slim/rich as he/she is,  so how do I …

These words if said often enough, will become your reality. Change the words, believe it, allow it and your reality will slowly but surely start to shift.

4. Remember to celebrate your victories. (refer to point 1)

5. Be kind to yourself.

• Don’t’ assume you are invincible. Heed signs of impending exhaustion. If you need to rest, rest. No job is worth compromising your health. As my Coach says, “You can’t save anyone else if you are drowning.”

6. We all need help. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

• Find a support group. Create a Lean In group or join a CEO support group. Do what ever it takes. Being at the top can be lonely, but that does not mean you have to be alone.

7. Never go into a 50:50 partnership.

• There can be many leaders but only one captain of the ship. Go for 51:49 where one person clearly has the final say. 50:50 can result in a stalemate, which may impede progress or sink the ship if no one wants to compromise.

8. Passion without profits is a hobby.

If you love doing something but year after year, you don’t see it pay off, then it is time to change course.  Not doing so is called the sunk cost fallacy. Here is a snippet from Rolf Dobelli’s The Art of Thinking Clearly”

• the sunk cost fallacy is most dangerous, when we have invested a lot of time, money, energy, or love in something. This investment becomes the reason to carry on, even if we are dealing with a lost cause.

This is also true of relationships.

Letting go, moving on and failing does not mean you are a failure. Learn the lesson and move on.

So there you have it, my 8 Ong (fortuitous) tips for the Year of The Goat. I would love to hear of yours.

Gong Xi Fa Cai, Xin Nian Kuai Le.

– Lee Jia Ping-

Living life large

by Lee Jia Ping

To me, resolutions are akin to a wish list that is not grounded in reality. For real change to happen, you need to get to the root of the problem. Resolve to lose weight? Find the root cause or else the pounds will keep coming back. Resolve to be more patient, find the source that will extinguish it rather than managing the fuel that sustains it.

Unless I understand the trigger points to all that I want to fix, resolutions are as worthless as the paper it is written on. So for the last few years, I have eschewed resolutions for a way of being that would help me get to the source.

What I have discovered as a result, is a vision for my life that has been gaining clarity in leaps and bound over the last 12 months. And in that clarity, in that moment of knowing, there is rest, followed by an avalanche of creativity and renewed vigour. But what also followed was a sense of being overwhelmed by the force of it all and the knowledge that one has only so much time left to fulfil it.

And so I forced myself to slow down, plant little trees, take long absences from work to regain my sense of perspective. Now after a period of enforced rest, I can now strategically plan my next steps.

I have decided that to make my vision come alive, I have to have more fun. In short I am going to live my life large.  I am going to consciously and deliberately live in a state of calm, enjoying and savouring the beauty and loveliness that life has to offer:- The wonders of a blue sky, the promise of an unopened bud, the love behind every kind gesture. I shall actively seek out and bask in the evidence of love that is presented to us everyday instead of worrying about the fate of humanity, our country, the government and my business!

Above all, I shall practice extreme self love- To look myself in the mirror everyday and see beauty rather than flaws, to speak words of love and kindness to myself as oppose to critiques and judgments.  To allow myself to experience joy and gratitude in every moment, even in times of conflict. To let go of fear, doubts, old wounds, people and material things:- all the things that bind me to the past, blind me to the present and weigh my future down. To truly embrace the wisdom of – This too shall pass.

My business coach sent me the article below 2 days ago, which pretty much sums up how I want to see and experience the world. I hope that it will make you laugh but more importantly, it will inspire you to move away from the tired old framework we call self doubt, self-limiting beliefs and conforming to societal norms and meeting the expectation of others. I for one embrace points 24, 25 and 43. If nothing else I vow to show up, choose life and wear purple.

Enjoy these wisdoms… written by Regina Brett, 90 years old.

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. Release your children when they become adults, it’s their life now

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

16. Take a deep breath It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Just because you believe you are right, doesn’t mean you are. Keep an open mind.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain. So keep it working

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should love.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield..

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Have a blessed 2014.